More on Sports Parenting
Last week’s post dealt with the topic of positive sports parenting. Within hours of hitting the “publish” button, this video came across my Twitter feed:
Um…folks, this is not good.
Then, a couple days later I met a sports parent (thankfully not affiliated with any program with which I am connected!) who can only be described as crazy in an obsessive, compulsive sort of way.
So to begin, let’s review some of the key points of what makes a great sports parent. They are moms and dads who encourage rather than coerce, who understand school-based sports programs are meant to be educational, who model sportsmanship, who leave the coaching to coaches, who value everyone on the team, who understand growth emerges from occasional disappointment, who keep sports in perspective, and who promote health, fitness, and fun above all else.
Perhaps the key point in this list is keeping sports in perspective.
Unfortunately, it is very common for parents to see excelling in athletics as an avenue toward the goal of a free college education. Simply put, sports are not a rational approach to paying for college. It is analogous to the fool who places his plans for a comfortable retirement in the hands of the Iowa Lottery. Pursuing a college athletic scholarship with a continuous cycle of camps, clinics, personal training sessions, and participation on club teams (with all of the inherent costs associated with fees, gear, travel, etc) add up to a boatload of money. Additionally, the cost/benefit analysis must include the non-monetary price paid as a result of losing out on many worthwhile family activities which have nothing to do with athletics. Finally, there is the very real probability that a child suffering from non-stop competitive demands will simply grow physically and emotionally exhausted only to drop out because he or she no longer finds the activity to be enjoyable.
Weighing these enormous costs against the unlikelihood of achieving the goal of a full ride scholarship makes the entire enterprise of chasing a grant in aid patently absurd.
So to turn this back to positive parenting, what should a great sports parent do?
Encourage morality, ethics, and character development inherent to sports.
Teach your child to respect the coach, love his or her teammates, and treat opposing athletes with dignity.
Make sure school always come first (it is far more likely a qualified student will receive an academic rather than athletic scholarship).
Avoid burnout by scheduling just a little less rather than a little more activity for the youngster.
Emphasize the enjoyment which comes from playing because nobody every gets sick and tired of having fun.
Point out to your child that the skills which are a natural result of being a good teammate will be of great value throughout his or her life. Perhaps the most crucial of these skills is communicating. If you don’t believe me on the importance of the development of communication skills, listen to what Coach K has to say on this subject: https://dukereport.com/duke-basketball/watch-coach-k-decisive-communication-dukeofhoops/
Keep in mind that multi-sport participation is always preferable for school-aged children. Likewise, participation in non-athletic activities can have enormously positive influence on a student’s development toward a well-adjusted adulthood.
Sports can and should be an enjoyable experience for youth. The attitudes and behaviors of parents can go a long ways towards making this ideal a reality!
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